TF?!: a second chance series..of love?

chameleon bookstore sits off of main Street in the heart of the town. there's a man ina t-shirt that probably says something sarcastic, jean shorts and sneakers sweeping the doorway of his shop, same as he's done since he and his late wife, lorraine beezey, opened

the used bookstore in may of the year 2000.

"Hey amber, how's it going?"

For the last three years, every time I see the door open and the book cart out, I have to stop by and say hello to mike messina. he was the first business owner in town to give me a

chance and let me read tarot cards for people in his store. uninterested in making money off of me, I was able to keep my prices low under his auspices. he and his partner in love, kathy roseman-barefoot, adopted me with all my wine-stained, pagan ways.

I am eternally grateful far from being the first vagabond to be welcomed at chameleon bookstore, i'm just one

face from the recent chapters in this long story. the well-loved walls of the store tell the tale of a haven for misfits and creatives.

recently mike showed me a folder of flyers that Lorraine made for events at the store. thinking of the flyers l've been making lately, I felt myself, amber dawn, as a part of the cycle in this town of second chances. from xerox to instagram, it goes on and on and on.

I never had the pleasure of meeting her, but I think lorraine would have loved Canva. i wanted mike's perspective on being torn and built back up again by the people.

I love the quote by british humorist p.g. wode that goes something like, "you may be sure that just when life seems brightest, fate is waiting around the corner with a lead pipe in his hand.…things happen in life, it's all about how we respond to it that matters."

in tarot, when the tower card shows up, it's time to start again for some, who believe in that & when there's nothing left, you're always free to build it back up.

johnstowns foundation, is laid with hard work and creativity, and the

not-so-secret ingredient: stubbornness.

here, we were raised to do what

we can with what we have and when that runs out, we find or make more.

so of course, when life hit

mike over the head with a lead pipe, he didn't stay down. not forever anyway.

mike shares, "my lowest point occurred in 2019. my beloved partner of 40 years, lorraine, and

my eldest brother and mentor, guy, each died from cancer within a few months of each other," mike told. he said he didn't feel like he had a choice but to carry on. I posit that that is the mindset of this “second chance city”, in Pa.

this is the stubbornness..

the door at chameleon stayed closed for a few months. everyone, no matter how resilient, needs time to heal. to grieve without having to put on a kind face, and just feel your awful feelings.

if you've never seen the foundation of your life laid bare, have you really lived?

"in the months after re-opening the store, even with very inconsistent hours, despite my depressed state, things got better," mike said of the metaphorical rebuilding.

"amazing people came back into my life."

aw thanks mike! just kidding, although it's true, I've re-emerged in this later chapter.

but I know whose well-manicured feet walked into the bookstore most significantly in this new era too that’s more in alignment with the vibrancy of what he mentions.

even though kathy grew up in the Johnstown area, life and marriage had taken her to the carolina’s; south carolina for some long years. When that chapter ended for her, she started again "back home."

so yeah, I hit you guys with a later-in-life rom-com, one, of course, of second chances instead of a simple

bookstore review. that’s the story, a story of love.

chameleon the bookstore, doesn't need my review. chameleon doesn't even have to be a bookstore if it doesn't want to.

it CAN be that, obviously, from the thousands of books lining the

walls somewhere between the old snapshots, printouts, and hand painted denim jackets. it can

also be a music and poetry venue, from open mics to underground raves. & I think its most profound function is as an artery in the heart of the city. pumping a renewed love into the spaces & people that come around.

"you never know what is going to happen, so be open to change. i'm a living example that you can recover from [any] whack on the head by that lead pipe." -mike messina